All I want for Christmas..

I came home to Toronto, to find that home, is no longer home. I've realized that my sense of home, was Dad. But he's no longer with us, and neither is home. This is our first Christmas without him. I'm not going to lie, it is miserable. It is so empty and I just want the holidays to be over with...NOW. A friend of mine recently lost his dad to cancer. He said that we are not allowed to cancel Christmas: "Christmas isn't cancelled. Our dads wouldn't want that." I know he's right, but it is going to take a lot of wine and chocolate to get me through this one.

*30 minutes later*

Ok, so i've had some wine and a few pieces of chocolate and I am brimming with holiday spirit - literally. I feel a bit better.

Merry Christmas everyone. May Santa be good to you.

When someone dies

When someone is grieving a loss, don't say you understand, because you don't. Don't say it's going to be ok, because its not, and don't say you can imagine what it must be like, because you can't. Don't be afraid to ask how the person is doing. Don't be afraid to talk about death. Don't pretend it never happened and don't wait for them to bring it up. It is not the griever's job to make people feel comfortable about what has happened. Yes, it is an uncomfortable topic, but it doesn't have to be. Ask how they are coping. Ask again in 3months, ask again in a year. For god's sake don't ask about the will. Don't be afraid to talk to them about what is going on in your life because you think that it is insignificant. Just be yourself and realize that it will take some time for us to be ourselves, and to find ourselves again.